Still kickin'

As i came back to reality, I was overcome with a high pitched ringing noise and sight was something hard for me to grasp. As the fuzzy figures began to take their shape,The ringing noise began to dissipate with a cacophonous of muffled whispers taking its place.I had a mask on my face and i could hear my breathing, which resembled an astronaut. I made a move to remove the mask away from my mouth and a shock wave of affliction shot down the left side of my shoulder and through out my arm. I looked to my left and my shoulder and arm were rapped in bandages. Jelly's father walked in, clip board in hand, and delicately requested that everyone left. I was still confused about how exactly i ended up in the ICU. But i knew i should have been pissed about it. Dr. Winston came over to me and removed the astronaut mask from my face. He went and sat in his rolly chair opposite of the hospital bed. "Now, how are you feeling Hunter?" Dr. Winston asked with a warm smile. "I've had peachier days." I said with a crooked smirk. "You pulled through nicely. Not effortlessly, but successfully none the less. You do recall why your here correct? You were under some serious anesthetics." I searched through my mind for answers. I reviewed the basic and obvious information. I am currently in intensive care. My left arm and shoulder are severely injured. I really need a cigarette. I guess Dr.Winston came to the conclusion that i wasn't coming to any form of conclusion. "You were shot twice in the shoulder and the chest area. Owen brought you here early this morning around 6 o' clock. Miraculously, the bullets managed to dodge any fatal areas and you should be good as new with some physical therapy and a prescription for oxycodone." I literally was considering laughing out loud. I swear, God himself wants me to keep up with my drug addiction. "Sounds good." I dead panned. "Fantastic. I'll be in to check on you in a few hours." He said with that doctor smile all doctors carry around on their faces. All I wanted was answers. I had a lot of enemies, but I was doubtful that any of them have enough hatred to want to kill me for having sex with their girlfriends or stealing their parking spot at school. Dawn and Owen walked in. "What sup superman. eating bullets like its nothing. I swear, me and you take turns checking into this place." Owen said as he sat down in Dr. Winston's rolly chair with his feet propped up on the small desk. "You look rough." Dawn said as she messed up my hair. "On the contrary, I feel like a million bucks." I said as i winced from adjusting my body. "Alright, so who was the little bastard who put me in this god awful place." "Caleb Brumley. He claims he wouldn't have pulled the trigger if he knew it was you. He said he felt threatened, like someone was gonna rob him or something. I got there just in time to chip him in the mouth and call the ambulance." Owen said proudly. "That kid is going to hate life once i have a functioning left arm again, I've been looking for an excuse to kick his ass for years now. He shot me, He successfully won himself a well deserved busted jaw twice a week for the rest of his life." I said with anger clearly evident in my voice. "Slow your roll kid, all you got to worry about is making it to California with us, Jaw breaking will commence shortly after. Then you can come home and have ass kicking fun until your heart gives out." I suppose this made sense. I needed time to heal anyway. Might as well wait until i'm in the best shape when I break his face. It was silent for a minute or so. "I'm sorry." Dawn said sincerely. "Dawn don't be ridiculous." She was silent after that, probably agreeing that the majority of the blame was on me and my impulsiveness. The rest of the day continued normally. More people continued to come in and out of my room with flowers or some kind of candy, my hot nurse came in multiple times and brought me food and fluffed my pillow, my parents came in and said they weren't surprised that I got myself in such a mess, I said "I fuckin hate you people" then they left, and Dr. Winston came in and gave me meds. It was late and I was falling asleep to soccer on the hospital television, a sport that always bored me. "Sorry, I know its late." Said a voice to my left . I turned my head to see Audrey standing in the doorway. "Don't act like you didn't come late on purpose so you could have your way with me for getting myself in such trouble." I said with a half smile. " She smiled back and shook her head. "Half dead and your still trying. I appreciate your lascivious efforts, I guess." She moved in the dark from the light of the doorway to the end of my bed. "How are you?" She asked with concern. "chipper. It only hurts when I move, or breathe." I said.   She reached up and flicked my arm. I winced, "ouch! what the fuck was that for?" I said as i held my arm. "Don't scare me like that ever again. I mean it." she said aggressively. I smirked at her. "come here brat." I said as i pulled her up toward me with my good arm. and then we both fell asleep watching boring soccer. 

Yours truly,

Hunter Cade

time to feed the monster

Oxycodone is an analgesic medication synthesized from poppy-derived thebaine that can be highly addictive. in other words, its the monster controlling my life.
Roxys can give you the most euphoric and elated high of your life. But with substance abuse, a tolerance will inevitably develop. So what happens when you cant get high anymore? Then your just an addict without the high. That day hasnt come yet, and i hope it never does. Thats when you hit rock bottom, the lowest you can be.

The morning starts with a pill and i end my day having consumed a couple more. Despite my endevours to stay high, this shit isnt something i like broadcasting throughout Tulsa. Dawn found them in my drawer once while she was rumidging through my stuff to find my jack daniels. She lost it, and flushed them down the toilet. we fought for hours that night. After a few holes punched into the wall and the screaming and arguing died down, Dawn began to cry, a rarity for her, and her glossy desperate eyes looked into mine. "Your ganna turn out like him." she whispered. and i instantly felt a stabbing feeling in my stomach. maybe it was my body trying to give me a wake up call. or maybe i just needed another pill. who knows, I dont know what my body wants anymore.But then the stabbing turned into a vicious nausia, i got up and went straight for the bathroom. Another, not so euphoric effect from roxys is the nausia. Its brutal. and i find myself in the bathroom puking my brains out these days more then i'd like to be. After my body finally finished disposing of everything i ate that day, i leaned against the wall in the bathroom and leaned my forehead against my hand.

Travis was my best friend through our child hood and up until he died. After a violent fight he got into with a couple of guys, he was stabbed in the back multiple times. Miraculously, Travis pulled through, but was left with enough back pains to keep you bed ridden for days at a time. He told me he couldnt take it anymore, and dying wouldnt have been much of a step up from the way he was suffering. and i told him i had something that could help. I didnt want to give him the pills, but he was desperate to stop the suffering and i was desperate to help my friend. Travis said after taking the pills the pain was virtually gone. Everything went back to normal until Travis got hooked. Hooked worse then me or anyone ive ever met. I tried to stop him, but the addiction ran his life and cosumed him fully. Travis over dosed 3 months later. Living with myself is still something i have trouble swallowing.

I sat in the hospital bed with Audrey sleeping on my chest. In most cases, Its hard to get audrey to even sit on my lap, let alone lay on me. She is by far the most stubborn girl i have ever met in my whole fucking life. But sometimes my persistance will over ride her hard headedness. She doesnt seem to get it. How much of a hold she has on me. whats strange is me and Audrey are polar oppsites and always have been. She loves the beach, I hate seein fat guys in speedos. I love war movies, she says the explosions are redicuously over dramatic. and how am i attracted to her? Because theres so much to know about her, and i learn from her everyday.
My boredum was getting a little much and Audrey had been asleep for 2 hours. I moved my arm up from her lower back to her upper shoulder. I took her bra strap, pulled it, and it snapped into her shoulder blade. I smirked. "hey sleepy." Audrey slapped me in the arm. "im ganna punch you." she mumbled, and burried her face in my chest trying to fall back asleep. "not so fast, we have shit to do."  As much as i love having her sleep on me, I was fiending somethin fierce. "like what?" she said looking up at me. Her eyes were the deepest grey blue, like the atlantic, i could never get used to them. They still shocked me with every glance she gave me. "like getting your ass some food." I said as i brushed her hair out of her face. " Hunter Miles Cade, are you implying that you want to take me out on a date?" She said jokingly with a smirk. "No, im just starving" I said. Audrey rolled her eyes and smiled. We got up from the hospital bed and Audrey started getting her stuff together. "Im ganna run to the bathroom real quick." Audrey nodded and i walked down the hallway to the bathroom. I went in my pocket and took out a pill. I looked at it for a minute. I could never look Audrey in the eyes and tell her about my problem with these things. I popped it into my mouth and scooped some water from the sink to wash it down with. It kicked in almost instantly and I closed my eyes and sighed. Finally. the tenseness was gone and I started feeling normal again. Audrey is something I would never be able to loose. I cant function without her. She helps me with my laundry, She helps me clean my room when it looks like a tornado ran through it, shes always there to talk, and always there to listen. I would do anything for that girl, and i need her in my life. Hurting her is something I cant do, and thats why I keep things from her.